Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The 'F' Word!!!

One fine day I received a phone call from a friend and he asked me to meet him at a coffee shop few blocks away from his house. He has a charming personality, very outgoing and always smiling, but when I saw him at the coffee shop, something seemed unusual. He wasn't exactly the way he always is, and looked very upset, sad and had a very gloomy expression on his face. I figured something was wrong, and as I was sitting down, he said "Man, I am such a big failure in life. No one can trust me anymore, and my parents have given up on me. I don't know what I am going to do, may be just live like this all my life." The words coming out of his mouth surprised me. Turns out, the guy had invested money in some business project which did not work out the way he was hoping for, and he lost some of his invested money. Not only that, this was the second time such a thing had happened to him. I asked him, " Why don't you try again?" and he replied, " I don't know, I fear I will never be good in doing business." Fear, as soon as I heard the word fear, I realized negativity was invading his mind, and just like the British invaded India and looted everything, his positive aura was being looted. 
We all have different fears in our mind, but one common fear that every man beholds is the fear of failure. Failure can be in love, relationships, career, academics, and every other aspect of life. But does that mean we should stop living, or spend the rest of our lives in regret, being sad. . Buddha said, "There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." That is exactly what we do, we either don't start or give up mid way. And the reason is fear, fear which gives rise to the question,"What if I fail?' In our pursuit to success we are bound to take actions which might produce some undesirable results. We term it as 'mistakes', and mommy told us not to make mistakes. Making mistakes is no crime (Unless you harm or kill anybody else), but is a part of learning process. They may not teach us what to do, but they definitely teach us what not to do.(And then later if you are stuck in similar dilemma, just treat the situation like a multiple choice question in which you deduct all the wrong options and you get the correct answer.)
Every experience, good or bad is a learning experience. From the good we learn what is to be done, and from bad we learn what is not to be done. So what to do if we face such undesirable circumstances? First of all we should stop thinking that we failed. Failure does not mean falling down, but failure is the inability to rise up and move on. We should treat such circumstances as a road to new opportunity, a wrong turn on the road from which we can always come back and go into the right direction. Learn to learn from your mistakes, and try not to repeat the same mistakes again. As they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining, opportunity is always knocking onto your door, even during dark times. We just need to be aware, and willing to take the efforts to open the door.
My physics professor always told us, "When there is a will, there is a way." So if you are willing to live your life the way you dream it, let go of your fear, don't get scared if there are a few wrong turns on your journey. Focus on the end result, enjoy the journey, and you will get there because we are all meant to be what we want to be.


This is the best quote I have ever come across,
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened in shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in  some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others." 

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Ideal Mind!!!


They say that nothing is permanent except for change, and change is required for progress. The human race has developed a lot from being  apes in the jungle to having set foot on the moon, and much more. Necessity is the mother of invention, and thus from basic tools to the high technology we have, every change or development was made at a time when man needed it the most. This applies not only to technology, but also the society, politics, etc. 
Every great and successful personality has brought some kind of change in the society. Gandhi fought against the British without holding a gun in his hand, Martin Luther king and Nelson Mandela did something similar to fight for their rights, Bill Gates changed the world of computers, Steve Jobs changed the concept of cell phones, And these changes were only possible because these great men were Idealists, they had a vision, and they worked towards it. Taking Gandhi as an example, fighting the mighty British empire with non-violence, practically speaking would be impossible, but he did it. Not only that, he also inspired others to follow his path and ideals. 
I have come across a lot of people who say " I am a very practical person" followed by " its not possible, the circumstances are not right." (sometimes I take their advice, and do the opposite, it works!!!). Realistic or people who are pragmatic, base their thoughts depending on the current situation of the world around them and look at things as they are. If, the great inventors and scientists would have based their ideas depending on the situation around them, technological revolution would have not happened. Similarly great leaders like Gandhi would not have succeeded, if they looked at the practicality of things and not believe in their ideals.  
Idealism is a concept which says that reality is a mental construct. Things are as we perceive it to be, whereas realism argues that things exist as they are and has nothing to do with the mind. I am not an expert in psychology to get into the depth of these two ideas, but I will try to explain the way I look at the idea of Idealism. There was no electricity before it was discovered. But the concept or the idea was present in several minds which led to its discovery, the biggest breakthrough in the history of science. If these people were realistic and left things the way it was, I don't think I would be writing a blog.
Idealistic thoughts are considered to be delusional. It is something which exist only in our mind and not for real. Every major invention, discovery, political or social revolution was something which did not exist, but were just thoughts and ideas in the minds of a few who looked at the future as they wanted it to be, and worked with all the passion to make their thoughts real. Idealistic thoughts helps to strengthen our belief system and    inspires us to be more passionate about work to make our dream alive. A realistic mind will always say "its impossible", but an idealistic mind says " everything is possible." 
Dream big and believe in it, how much ever ridiculous it may sound, it will lead you to the change you seek for a better life. On your pursuit to your dreams there might be roadblocks, but do not let them stop you from getting what you want and where you want to be. In my next Blog I will be talking about the 'F' words, Fear and Failure.

"Men look at things as they are and ask why, Lets be men who look at things as we want it to be and ask why not?!! "